The Forgotten Covenant of Friendship
I recently shared my convictions about wanting to go deeper in my friendships. Friendship is a gift from God, a spiritual blessing that graces our lives with depth and motivation. Jesus invites us into friendship, offering a highly intimate relationship with our King and with fellow Christians.
To spend time with friends who are fellow Christians is to store treasures for eternity, receiving a glimpse of what is to come in the New Earth.
For me, defining friendship can be fairly relative, giving some wiggle room. But when it comes to those deeper friendships, the kind of friendships Christians throughout history have described as one of the most fulfilling blessings God has given them, friendship has been seen as a covenant.
Normally when I think of covenants in the Bible, my mind jumps to God’s covenants with humanity and marriage. But we see a covenant of friendship in one of the most famous stories in the Bible between two friends: David and Jonathan.
What is a Covenant?
The Bible Project defines a covenant as a binding partnership, seeking a common goal. In addition to God’s covenants and marriage, Scripture also shows examples of political covenants and legal covenants. So while God’s covenants and the covenant of marriage are the most commonly discussed in the Church today, we see Scripture giving a wider net of what can be a covenant.
The giving of yourself to another
When thinking of God’s covenant with the Church, Christ’s sacrifice for His Bride is the foundation. This kind of attribute is seen in the beautiful friendship of David and Jonathan.
“When David had finished speaking with Saul, Jonathan was bound to David in close friendship, and loved him as himself...
Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as much as himself. Then Jonathan removed the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his military tunic, his sword, his bow, and his belt.”
Where Saul responds to David’s anointing with jealousy and rage, his son responds with love and sacrifice. Legally speaking, Jonathan was the rightful heir to the throne when King Saul passed away. In the political world, David would be a threat to Jonathan. Instead, Jonathan literally removed his royal status and gave it to his dearest friend.
This kind of selfless friendship would be repeated in a grander way when Jesus stepped down from His throne to serve us. But unlike David, we weren’t friends with Jesus, we weren’t deserving, and we weren’t the anointed king of God’s nation. Jesus was the anointed one, Jesus was the descendant of David, and yet Jesus repeats Jonathan’s sacrificial and selfless love to us.
This is also where we can see a comparison between the covenant of marriage and the covenant of friendship. A mature friendship, like a mature marriage, takes selfless sacrifice.
Covenant Faithfulness
Just as God has been faithful in His covenants with His image-bearers, so David and Jonathan showed faithfulness to each other. Multiple times, Jonathan went out of his way to save David’s life. (1st Samuel 19:1-7, 1st Samuel 20:28-42)
Even after Jonathan and David went separate ways due to the threats against David, their covenant remained:
“Jonathan lives out his covenantal friendship in hard circumstances. The friendship covenant serves God’s purposes for David, but Jonathan gets little or no reward; Jonathan never sees David again...
But the circumstances do not cancel out the covenant; rather, the covenant is used in the purpose of God to overcome the circumstances.”
David showed faithfulness to Jonathan even after his death. Jonathan’s son, Mephibosheth, was paralyzed and under the mercy of King David. Politically speaking, Mephibosheth would have a natural instinct to believe David would want him dead. But David relieved Mephibosheth of such anxiety, assuring him that he would be taken care of. All of this, David explains, is due to his friendship with Jonathan. (2nd Samuel 9:1-11)
Covenant Friendships today
When I think of my friendships over the years, sacrifice and binding faithfulness isn’t what typically comes to mind. I’ve often given up on friendships, especially if I felt hurt. I confess I’ve often sought friendships with insincere selfishness, only seeking what I could gain from such relationships.
No wonder in my youth I felt so lonely and was puzzled reading the intimacy David and Jonathan shared. That is the kind of friendship Jesus blesses, and that is the kind of friendship I want to seek.
What would it look like in your context today to have a covenant mindset in your closest friendships?
Bibliography
Woollard, W. (2018). The Five Key Covenants God makes with Humans in the Bible. Bible Project. https://bibleproject.com/articles/covenants-the-backbone-bible .
Peterson, E. (1999). First and Second Samuel. Louisville, KY. Westminster John Knox Press.
Scripture quotations marked CSB have been taken from the Christian Standard Bible®, Copyright © 2017 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Christian Standard Bible® and CSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.